Cable Cars are like Marmite ......

So what has something that you spread on toast and a wooden box on rails got in common? ....

Well ....... you either love Marmite or you hate it ....... and Cable Cars conjure up similar feelings...

Cable Cars rumble majestically up hill and down, carrying whooping Americans, serious Germans, grinning Brits and the occasional local. Whilst gripping onto the outside rail, the close proximity of the other passengers makes starting a conversation rather easy, e.g. "can you please stop whacking my head with your camcorder", or, "Where did you have a nice garlic meal last night?" A great many tourists ask some really dumb questions, like, "Where's the engine?". I take great delight in informing them that the cable runs underneath the road a steady 9 miles an hour, and the driver chappy clamps onto this wire with his big leaver thingy ...... they now think I'm a Tour Guide, and start asking me where the best places to eat are, and what should they see whilst they're in town for a whole day!!!! (must be a cruise line tourist!)

I've been to the Cable Car Museum (which is jolly interesting and absolutely free) and also houses the 'power house' that drives the cables. I learnt that when Andrew Smith Hallidie (a Brit), saw a horrible accident one damp summer day in 1869, which resulted in 5 horses tumbling to their death down a slippery, cobbled street in San Francisco, he decided to invent something to prevent a re-occurrence ...... the Cable Car Line. Being in the wire rope business, he put his know-how to use, and the first car system was opened in 1873.

Now getting on and off these wonderful contraptions can be a bit tricky ..... especially with some of the grumpy cable car drivers currently working on the routes. Common phrases barked at the passengers are,"Take off that back pack", "move all the way inside", "no standing in the yellow area", "two people between each post only", and my particular favorite, "no room ... get the next car" (when there's clearly a gap between the portly German gentlemen and the young women in shorts and a vest top, wishing she'd packed a jumper!!!) The guys on the Hyde/Mason & Powell lines tend to be more fun than the guys on the California line. Still, I can understand some monotony as the conductor of the California/Van Ness Car informs the umpteenth passenger that "No, this car does not go to Fisherman's Wharf!!!"

I've met some lovely people on the 10 minute ride downtown. One old boy spoke at me the whole trip, however, he didn't have any teeth, and trying to understand him was a bit difficult. Another women told me all about her many health problems (she's usually riding the car downtown to see her doctor).

Now motorists are not permitted to over-take a stationary cable car (risk of flattening a disembarking tourist!) When a car does this cardinal sin, the driver and conductor go loopy and ring their bells for all it's worth. Also motorists should not drive on the cable lines. This misdemeanor is again rewarded with yelling and rapid ringing of the bell.

Talking of the bell ..... this is used by the driver and conductor to communicate. The conductor (or brake man) will 'ding' his bell twice to signify that all passengers are safely on board and the driver can move off. One 'ding' means that someone has requested a stop, and the driver will reply with a similar 'ding' to indicate that he's got the message. The driver will also use his bell to entertain the passengers, by dinging a rhythm and gigging up and down (much to everyone's delight). Some of them a rather good, and they hold the 'Cable Car Bell Ringing Contest' each year, in Union square (check it out on YouTube!)

Cable Cars can be smelly, noisy, very uncomfortable and you run the risk of picking up any transmittable disease. You either love 'em you hate 'em ..... much the same as marmite (which, by the way, I absolutely adore!!!!)