The locals are shrinking...

They must be - there can be no other explanation. No longer the largest nation on earth - in any respect

The Dutch are taller, on average - the Brits have more per capita debt (what we spent all the money on is a mystery) and the Chinese have more of most things, except Children per couple (which as you know is limited to one 'little emperor' per couple).

But, like Willey Coyote, we (the residents of America) are fighting back. If you can't win - change the rules - so the most things are getting smaller.

I used to be able to buy a large size shirt - and now it's XL. I took it home andcompared it and it was a good 2" (centimetres don't travel well and haven't made it here) smaller all round.

The Gas (petrol) is smaller too - the American gallon is really only a thimble full.

I have also grown a shoe size - which was impressive. Sally has grown 2 or 3.

A man who takes a size 9 here is at risk of having sand kicked in his face when he goes to the beach.

The toilets are smaller too - and unbelievably close to the ground -but equipped with such a ferocious vacuum flush that no sensible adult would ever sit and flush for fear of being neutered.

All this can make life slightly confusing - never quite sure if anything will fit - one place where this doesn't work is in restaurants where nothing is small -

Which is odd - because you'd expect the Americans to be catching up on the Dutch by the way they eat, the Brits by the way they spend money - but the Chinese will win the breeding battle no matter what.