Monday, November 2, 2009

Much is good....but more is better (The drive to Yosemite)


They like things simple over here, only having three rules for life -


Rule one, whatever you have - make sure it's the bigger than any one else's.
Rule two, if you can't have a big one - make sure that you have more of them than anyone else.
Rule three - make sue you put all your 'things' together in one place - it makes them easier to find - and also much easier to show off - which is the whole point

You see this everywhere - huge "malls" with the same selection of massive hyper stores - my own favorite are the car cities where dealerships the size Switzerland sell every model of car ever made.


The cars are all, obviously, crap - even the Japanese and European models as they have been localised - replacing the suspension with cotton wool and disconnecting the steering column from the wheels so that cornering is done with more luck than judgement.


Anyway this is no surprise - there are no corners and no roundabouts. Between San Francisco and Yosemite you can take the straightest road that was ever built - even though the Romans never got this far - straight and boring - the 132 goes on for hours - through cities like Modesto - which isn't modest at all and seems to have been disgorged by passing Aliens into the middle of a flat and desolate wasteland of almond trees and bugger all else.


There is no need for suspension or handling - it's a point and go kinda thing. But God - being smart, decided to put all the bendy bits together in one place (rules 2 and 3 above) and then put them all 3,000 feet up a mountain.


Without doubt this is the scariest piece of road ever designed - even though it is also probably the most beautiful.
The picture really doesn't do it justice, but there is that "oh my god" moment when you come round the first corner. It also adheres to the three rules (above) and explains why American cars don't "do" corners - they just don't have to unless you come to highway 49.

We stopped for gas (petrol - not intestinal wind) at Mariposa -funny little place that seems to be inhabited by 4x4 truck driving families called something like Earl and Pearl, with kids Chuck and Petals.

The 4x4 seems a really smart invention and, despite the fact that they would have their own post code in the UK - I don't understand why something so useful hasn't caught on "internationally" (IE outside the US)

So - much is good - more is better - and be sure you get to show off and brag about it by putting all the good stuff in one place - Highway 49 "respect"

Note from the passenger ........

Richard's description of this journey is accurate, however, it was written from the perspective of the driver ...... being the passenger/navigator was, how can I put it ......, THE MOST NERVE RACKING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE!!!!!

My driver likes to navigate the roads by steering with one arm ..... doesn't he understand that God gave him two for a reason! As we began our 'scenic' drive, the hair-pin bends put me in a slight meditative mood .... this was quickly followed by nausea, and finally.... sheer terror. I tried so hard to keep my mouth shut, though my body was rigid, finger nails dug deep into the seat and my feet making little leaps as I tried in vain to reach that imaginary brake. So at last, whilst going round a 90 degree bend, with a 3000 foot drop (off of my side I might add!!), and the tyres screeching, I did let out a "Jesus Christ Richard!!" .....

It is very strange that I have thrown myself out of a perfectly good aircraft at 10000 feet, paraglided, and spent time in an active war zone without so much as breaking a sweat, but this particular experience left me with a racing heart rate and moist palms. I think it must be something to do with 'being in control' ..... and maybe having a driver that believes that two are better than one .......

Sally

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